Looking back on October 2002 - Creating light out of darkness

"On the morning of the 12th October I was flying back to Bangkok and I got a phone call from a friend. ‘Did you hear about the bombing in Bali? Two nightclubs got smoked,’ he said. I immediately feared for the worst. I had not heard from Annika. I rang her and there was no answer.

The next day I flew to Denpasar loaded with leaflets, I was determined to get the help of whoever I could to track her down. The plane was full of journalists and a guy from the BBC said he would help me and asked if he could follow me around. I hate the press, but in this instance, I thought that his presence would open doors and I might find her quicker. My friends Emma and Moo met me at the airport, by chance they were there on holiday. I piled into their hire car and drove around the island, going to hospitals and makeshift morgues.

Halfway through the day I realised that I was not going to find her, I realised that my Annika was gone forever. I asked the journalist if he could leave me alone, he showed me his wedding ring and said he would have asked the same. I went back to my hotel. I took a shower and threw a towel around my waist. I sat in a chair at a desk and started writing. I tried to think ‘what would Annika do?’ The following words came to me:

“I have faith, yet I have no religion;

I have knowledge, yet I don’t understand;

I have vision, yet I cannot see reason;

I walk free, free of hatred;

I touch you, touch with compassion;

I have life, life in your heart."

As I finished writing, the door of my room suddenly opened. I called out to see who was there. I then went to the door and poked my head out. Nobody was there so I walked outside. The door then slammed shut of its own accord. I erupted in laughter. My darling Annika had locked me out of the room half naked. She didn’t want me to focus on hate and fear, she wanted me to do something positive. I walked to the lobby and sheepishly asked if they could let me in to my room. That night I decided what I would do. I would create a book about Annika’s life using her photos (she was a keen photographer) and I would set up a charitable foundation in her name.

The following week, I gave all of our revenues to charity, as I had done a year earlier. Except this time it was to a foundation I had set up personally."

Mark Weingard, founder of Inspirasia Foundation.